Complete, Just the Way You Are…..No More Grasping.

skyopening“Well I met an old man dying on a train, no more destination, no more pain….” –Awolnation

As I was walking on the treadmill after work the other day, I noticed myself grasping. I was grasping for ways to escape the present moment. My muscles were hurting from the previous day’s workout, I knew I could only do a walking workout at this particular time and in all honesty, all I wanted to do was go home, crack open a beer and be lazy. I was bored! Walking this treadmill, feeling like some sort of lab rat, nothing of interest on the multiple televisions surrounding my vision 180 degrees. I kept picking up my phone, only to see that nothing had changed: no new phone call, no new texts, no new emails. I started scanning down old emails, trying to find something of interest that I hadn’t read yet…..only to find nothing. Bored! And then I stopped, I came back to the breath, came back to this meditation muscle that I have strengthened over the previous few months and realized: I could die this second. Enjoy…I remembered this simple word and this simple action. I took a look around and just shifted to a different paradigm realizing this moment will never happen exactly as it’s happening right now, ever again.

This is the beautiful part of meditation. It’s not just in the moment of meditation that you are gaining a keen awareness, it is in all of the moments of the day where you forget about awareness, and you bring yourself back to it so much easier than ever before. You remember. Every moment is so original, so unique.

One of my favorite meditations that I have done was one I learned back in Minnesota. I learned it at one of the first meditation workshops that I had ever attended. It was a meditation based from Buddhist tradition, I don’t remember the name of the meditation, however I do remember the monk that taught it–he was remarkable and I am forever thankful for his teachings. The meditation was incredibly simple and I highly recommend it. It basically goes as follows: after focusing on the breath for a few minutes, start to focus on the feeling of being complete. You have no need to eat anything at the moment, no need to drink anything, no need to need anything. You are fulfilled and complete just as you are, in this moment, in this second. Really take in the feeling of needing nothing right now, you are complete. Really focus on that feeling of completeness and anytime your mind drifts to other thoughts, just come back to the focusing on knowing you are complete. Nothing to worry about, because you have nothing to grasp right now, you need absolutely nothing.

The lyric that I posted at the top, every single time I hear it, it really reassures me. We are always fighting some sort of battle to be somewhere, to have something, to need something…….the struggle to survive, but death always reassures me. It reminds me that all is temporary. Every single want, need, desire….it’s all temporary, you’re not going to need money, food or shelter when you enter the next phase of existence. All in this physical world is temporary….such a beautiful thing to remember.

Day Six and Seven.

  “Well I lost my pride, with this body of mine….in another land, I began to understand.” –Awolnation

My computer is on it’s last legs and it wasn’t letting me post on Day 6…..just have to roll with the punches and work with what I have.  🙂

Last night I reached an incredibly deep state of meditation, I felt that I was floating above my body and in this formless land.  It was just bright white light and I was absorbed by it and it felt so peaceful.  It was pure love and peace I felt, it was amazing.  I had to open my eyes though because at one point, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to get back into my body.    However, I know that to reach this state is not the point of meditation, I somewhat lost myself and lost my concentration.

In the book “Small Boat Great Mountain” by Amaro Bhikkhu, this subject gets touched upon:

“Incidentally, this is why in Buddhist meditation circles there’s often a warning about deep states of absorption.  When one is in one, it can be very difficult to develop insight–much more so than when the mind is somewhat less intensely concentrated… cosmological terms, the best place for liberation is in the human realm.  There’s a good mixture of suffering and bliss, happiness and unhappiness here.  If we are off in the deva realms, it’s difficult to become liberated because it’s like being at an ongoing party….up in the brahma realms it’s even worse.  Who is going to come back down to grubby old earth and deal with tax returns and building permits?”

This made a lot of sense to me because I felt so incredibly good in the state I was in that I almost didn’t want to go back into my body, but I was also having a bit of fear because I felt so detached, it was so foreign to me that I wasn’t sure what would happen next.  While this plane of existence on Earth is really tough, with all of the pain, suffering, dirt and grime….it is also gorgeous and absolutely wonderful at times.  I am not ready to leave this plane of existence, I have a lot to learn yet….