Day Five.

I am becoming a lot more alert of emotional states I find myself in.  When I’m nervous about something, I actually stop to feel the nervousness and I don’t push it away.  It is so fascinating to me about how you can actually feel the physical sensation of certain emotional states, I think I used to be so intent on pushing them away that I wasn’t aware of how much your emotional states actually manifest into physical form.

I also am realizing how much I rely on my phone to make me happy.  I don’t look at my phone for hours, I work straight from 8:30 am to 1:00 pm without looking at my phone, but I find myself looking forward to spending my whole lunch hour on my phone and also on the food I’m eating to make me happy.  Once lunch hour is over though and I’m back to the grind I find out that over-indulging in the food has made me physically feel sick and being a slave to technology leaves me feeling more empty inside.

Just little observations, ones that I probably wouldn’t notice had I not been meditating so much.

The big lesson of the day: you become aware of a lot more when you meditate daily, especially unhealthy habits…….you look at intent more.  Such as: “Okay, so I ate that second piece of pie because I thought it would make me feel better, the intent was good….I was trying to make myself satisfied, but what I’m trying to seek is not in that second piece of pie.”  haha…..

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