I scored a day off of work and knew exactly what was calling for me. That beautiful Columbia River Gorge, the area that first called me to Oregon originally. Despite not being able to find an adventure buddy for the day and the rain hammering down outside, I knew that nature was needed. For mental health, I have discovered that I need to get out into nature at least once a week. So I covered myself up with rain gear, laced up my hiking boots, grabbed some snacks, and jetted down the old familiar Highway 84 to get to the gorge.
As I pulled into the parking lot to head up to do the 2-mile Fairy Falls loop, I was surprised that there were a few cars already in the parking lot. It looked like the rain hadn’t scared others away either. I got out of the car and took the familiar path up to the first set of falls, Wahkeena Falls. The path was smooth sails up until about halfway up when I hit the first set of packed snow, which wasn’t difficult to maneuver around and I ran into a group of people coming down so I figured it probably wasn’t too bad. It was about five minutes after that thought that I realized it was going to be a soggy snow packed trail the rest of the way. You couldn’t see dry patches of ground anywhere once you reached a certain point.
I made it all the way up to Fairy Falls, but it was a much slower go than usual. There were previous boot marks from other people, which made the trail much easier, but at times I had to get creative in my footing to make sure I didn’t fall. There were several times where I had to forgo a trail made by previous people and start a new one or else I would probably be taking a tumble. It hit me on that trail that this was so metaphoric to how my life has been over the last two years while going through what I believe has been a spiritual awakening.
I am not going to lie. My life has been pretty chaotic ever since doing my first 10-day silent meditation retreat. It changed my life and not necessarily for the better. Over the last two years since doing that retreat: I have quit five jobs, lived in six different places in two different cities, started two different school programs–successfully completing one of them, but in the end didn’t end up doing either of those career changes which was the initial plan when I set my eyes on both school programs. Yet, here I am, healthy and with so many blessings that I can’t even count them all.
We all go through this in so many different ways. We have intentions to manifest a specific dream, only to be thrown off the path with unforseen road blocks or hiccups. So then, that initial dream twists and turns, but you still end up okay….you just forge a new path. You either try again or create a new pathway and see if that one takes, only to have a different curve ball thrown at you. So you pause, reflect a little maybe, and either keep trying on that one path stubbornly or set your sights on the next dream. This is living! Trying out new pathways is what keeps us unstuck and gives us freedom.
Hopefully this is resonating with some of you, I just felt like I needed to get it out while it was fresh in my mind. What I have been discovering is that when I come across a multitude of blockages while attempting a specific dream, those blockages are guiding me to take a different path. When I let go of the exact dream that I had in mind, it gives space for what’s meant for me to come in. Being happy and in gratitude with what comes to me helps me to drop the struggle of “but it wasn’t supposed to go this way!” In the past I would get discouraged, depressed, and felt like a failure when my dream didn’t manifest. Now I am able to rest in a more present awareness of appreciating the path that I am currently on.
Peace out! 🙂